[ P ] Just Pretend

Khepri Tiamat
I can wait for you at the bottom
I can stay away if you want me to
I can wait for years if I gotta
Heaven knows I ain't getting over you

---

The sun was finally setting upon the Earrach Mountains, casting it's fading light gently over the surface of Mirror Lake. The light seemed to dance upon the still surface of the water and Khepri would be awed if he weren't so nervous. He couldn't think about anything else but who he was supposed to be meeting here. It was getting late and he was wondering if she would show at all...

He supposed he wouldn't be surprised if she didn't.

He hadn't seen her in, what, a year? Maybe it hadn't been that long, or maybe it had. He couldn't quite remember for his memories often hid behind a hazy fog induced by the valerian he just couldn't seem to quit. Tonight he felt like he should have taken some before coming, just to calm his nerves, but he was clean and because of that he was so anxious he felt he might actually throw up. Maybe there was time to...

The sound of paw steps approaching in the distance captured his full attention and he lifted his gaze from the water to look and see who was coming his way. He couldn't tell who it was just yet, as they had not slipped from the tree line, but he felt hope but rising and falling within as mixed emotion washed over him.

---

ACTION • SPEECH

SIF ASGAUT

She walked along the cliff, watching the land below as she took in the sunlight shrinking before exploding into a fire in the sky, catching her attention for a long few moments, always loving the look of sunsets and sunrises. It was her favorite thing to do with her progeny, the girl's eyes matched it perfectly but today she wasn’t accompanied here like she preferred to share their heritage. It would be unwise when the reason she was here wasn’t anything she wanted the yearling in the middle of. Still, she hadn’t seen the cause of her own attendance yet, making her sigh a bit of relief. Already humoring the idea of going home once the darkness would set on the world, leaving her in a matching cover.

Oh?

A small form had moved toward the lake, one unmistakably light in pelt as the sun only enhanced the tans to dance like flames along their body. A woman of her word, as much as she didn’t wish to make her presence known, would not go running off. Moving effortlessly along the rocky path down to the grasses that blanketed the landscape soon to be frosted in snow and ice. Winter was here, there was no mistaking that as her breath formed small clouded to hover and disappear in the air after a few seconds. Her favorite season and that hasn’t changed since she could remember, happily playing in the white powders around this area with her siblings. Hask and Thyra…a smile played on her lips for a moment as she paused at the sight of one of the old dens they once inhabited.

It would take little time to make it the rest of the way down, finding herself in the tree line as it seemed she hadn’t been noticed just yet but shortly after, the rustle of the foliage would announce her approach. There was every bit of her that had hoped he wouldn’t show but as she started to make up distance there was no denying it was Khepri. Was it a good thing or bad thing that he kept coming back into her life long after his purpose had expired? She would allow today to be the deciding factor in that, while not only hers, but his mind was entirely sober in this moment. Hopefully.

“I see you’ve made it, professor,” she greeted with a light dip of her head, far more cordial and receptive outwardly than she was inwardly. “Isn’t the sky so much more breathtaking here?” she smiled, taking a seat not very far from him, gaze fixated on the melding colors at a safe enough distance from the water. Her tail gently coiled around her side to rest comfortably on her paws to keep them nice and warm as she released a rather cute little sneeze. She'd bring no attention to it, but she was certain he would.

Am I Beautiful As I Tear You To Pieces

table by rae - image by Lunicea

Khepri Tiamat
I can wait for you at the bottom
I can stay away if you want me to
I can wait for years if I gotta
Heaven knows I ain't getting over you

---

When Sif came into view, Khepri was both relieved and surprised. He honestly thought she wasn’t going to show and perhaps she was thinking the very same thing. He was glad she had, though. ”I see you’ve made it, professor.” she said in greeting. ”Isn’t the sky so much more breathtaking here?” she asked, as if they were just accustomed to small talk. Khepri offered a smile and a nod as he looked up to the sky. It was early enough that the light from the sun still cast itself across the sky and paired it an array of beautiful colors.

His ears twitched as she sneezed suddenly and he jumped a little, startled. A small chuckle escaped him. ”Bless you.” he said.

The man continued looking at her while she watched the sky. ”Yes, it is breathtaking.” he said softly, though whether he was referring to the sky any longer would remain a mystery. He cleared his throat and looked away, glancing over the water momentarily. If it weren’t so cold he’d propose a swim, but alas the chill of winter was fast approaching and they’d likely get sick if they went for a dip now.

”Is this why you wanted to meet me here?” he asked curiously. The colors dancing in the sky only reminded him of one thing at the moment: fire. The reds and yellows cast across the never-ending blue made the sky look consumed by flame, much like his mother had been. It was a melancholy thought, but one he could not push from his mind. He had thought about her a lot since her funeral. Funny thing, death... it made you think. He hadn't thought much of her since she'd banished him years ago until she died, now, sometimes, she was all he thought of. He shook her from his mind did his best to refocus on Sif and the scenery surrounding them.

---

ACTION • SPEECH

SIF ASGAUT

She wasn’t one to tiptoe around an issue if she could help it yet getting to the point was hardly on her mind while she took in the many different hues, the only thing better being the northern lights she named Aurora after. The smile and nod caught out of her peripheral, she expected a spectacle, yet he seemed at peace just like the rest of the land; harmony if only for a moment. That discomfort, for a brief second, not felt until her body had decided to counteract that silence. Head would turn abruptly at the movement that wasn’t just stationed in his head, spasmed as if something had just popped out of the waters to spook him but it was the little sneeze that seemed to be the offender as nothing had crawled out to attack him that she could see or smell.

Lone flame would scan him up and down at his courtesy, seemingly finding his own lack of constitution amusing or maybe he was laughing at her. It didn’t really matter. “Do tell, which god are you offering me blessings from?” she asked curiously, hoping no mutterings of fae would touch his lips. No one could be too cautious, especially with talks of Jacob's return, she could only hope he wasn't one of their minions. He didn’t look the religious sort either, so perhaps he was strictly using it in typical phrase but with that possibility of being wrong on both accounts, she did find different cultures fascinating all the same.

Her attention would refocus on the sky above before dropping to the waters, surprised it wasn’t frosted over just yet but then again, the water usually stayed warmer longer than the air before the freeze would take over entirely. She preferred it coated in thick ice, never a fan of open pools. An ear would flick to his voice once more as he agreed the sky was indeed an amazing site and yet why was he looking at her while he said so, she could feel his eyes. There would be no dwelling on it, it wasn’t like it was the first time his eyes would fall from her while he spoke and she knew in some customs eye contact while speaking was expected. In this case, it may be no different or maybe her mood was just a tad better than usual around him. It was anyone’s guess, even her own.

The question, however, would draw her back to him of which she’d promptly shake her head no. To say she wanted to meet him here so he could see a pretty scene would be far from the truth, it had nothing to do with how he felt at all. To say she wanted to meet him at all, that was a joke and a half but has he ever been the brash sort? He always put a sweet coating on everything, be it with his words or with his face. Maybe that scared her more than anything, tenderness. Someone violent or dominant, she knew what to expect, she could usually defend herself but… passiveness was so different to what she was used to outside of blood.

She took a breath in before looking at him. “I met you here because you begged for my attention and I find this place far more comforting than a cottage in the damp woods,” voice gentle even if the word choice was a bit stiff. She tried to save some of his feelings but not all of them, biting back many things she wanted to say. She'd let him speak before jabbing any spears into him, for now.


Am I Beautiful As I Tear You To Pieces

table by rae - image by Lunicea

Khepri Tiamat
I can wait for you at the bottom
I can stay away if you want me to
I can wait for years if I gotta
Heaven knows I ain't getting over you

---

“Do tell, which god are you offering me blessings from?” she asked. Khepri's ear would flick at the question and he'd offer a smile and a shrug. "I pray to no God... it's just a thing you're suppose to say when someone sneezes. I'm not quite sure why," he said. He was not a religious man and so his blessings came from himself. Would she find this fact about him confusing or relieving, he wondered. The Highlanders of Rionnach were far more religious than a Mainlander like himself and he had to think that Sif, being in the Army, might not be all that religious herself. Of course, he had no way of knowing unless she said something and he wasn't sure she would.

He was content with the direction the conversation was going, however, until she spoke again. “I met you here because you begged for my attention and I find this place far more comforting than a cottage in the damp woods,” she said. Though her voice was gentle, he couldn't help but feel... bad. Guilty? He swallowed and his ears splayed atop his head as dismay was written all over his face. He didn't really know what to say to that and so for a few moments, he kept quiet. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." to what? What exactly was so wrong about wanting her company? He couldn't quite place why, but irritation accompanied his guilt swiftly. He didn't show it though, because he knew it was not her fault. He had begged her to come and essentially, he'd forced her to do something she clearly wasn't interested in. So why was she here? Was she just a woman who kept her word or was it something else? He supposed he probably would never know, with how little they said to one another. He thought about leaving, but decided that since they had come all this way it would be silly of him to get upset and do so now. "I didn't mean to make you do something you didn't want to do. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, I hadn't seen you in... a long time. I consider you a friend, Sif." he explained. He looked away from her momentarily.

"Are you? Okay?" he asked.

It was a loaded question, considering what had happened last they met in the Fae Forest. He had not forgotten, much as he wished to. It had been since then that he'd not seen her, at least not til' she'd shown up at his place.

---

ACTION • SPEECH

SIF ASGAUT

"I am aware that it's a phrase but you can never be too certain if one's way of using it matches the rest of the masses. Still, it is a shame you don't have a view of the afterlife. Surely it doesn't provide much peace to have no gods for your loved one to be embraced by after you lose them." It gave her peace to know where her family rested long after losing them, it made her feel a little less alone. That she would have solitude in her own passing as she is returned to them. That was her hope at the very least after it being so much of a focal point in her bloodline.

“Friends?” she echoed him in confusion, never once seeing him as such a thing. She couldn't say she didn't know what friends were, she just was in a limited supply, and he wasn't exactly in that supply no matter how much it seemed he thought he was. "We...don't know each other. You were my doctor and I... don't remember most of that time. Most of any of our time, to be honest. You are always somehow there at my lowest points. Well. Not all of them," she couldn't look at him, cause her lowest low she had yet to meet him. No, Xandria had been there to help her through that. Guilt hung on her for the girl had just been a child then, Sif hardly an adult herself but forced to be so much more too quickly. Had Khepri been there instead, she may not have healed to be who she was today. Healed was a very loose term, still very much broken to this day, just far better at hiding it. He wouldn’t have pushed her to fight, not in the same way.

“Maybe it’s more I don’t know you at all,” she added after a second, feeling he probably did know her more than she knew him. If his mind isn't clouded in the same blurry haze of concussions, painkillers and nightmares hers were. With the recent illnesses that spread, her brain was even worse for wear on memories but others were far worse on how much they forgot in exchange for prolonged youth. The only thing she could really remember about him was that he had a wife and kid of his own, but that didn’t tell her who he was.

The last question had her pause, her tail flicking some as she took in a breath, not sure how to answer. “Could be far worse. So yes, I’m okay,” she answered after a long pause. In her eyes, this was what she considered okay, others maybe wouldn’t hold the same view. There was another confession in her breast, thrashing there though it wouldn’t escape her lips as she peered over at him. He wouldn’t understand even if it did, at least she’d hope not. “Are you?” fell from her lips instead.


Am I Beautiful As I Tear You To Pieces

table by rae - image by Lunicea

Khepri Tiamat
I can wait for you at the bottom
I can stay away if you want me to
I can wait for years if I gotta
Heaven knows I ain't getting over you

---

"I am aware that it's a phrase but you can never be too certain if one's way of using it matches the rest of the masses. Still, it is a shame you don't have a view of the afterlife. Surely it doesn't provide much peace to have no gods for your loved one to be embraced by after you lose them." "No, it doesn't." he said. He hadn't taken her for the spiritual type, but he supposed he'd been surprised before. He didn't pray to any God, nor did he believe in any afterlife... at least he had no reason to. Maybe he should ponder it sometime. The idea of a better life after this one might bring him more comfort, or it might persuade him to end it all just so he could move on.

“Friends?” she echoed, as if confused by the very notion. Khepri's ears tilted back slightly. "We...don't know each other. You were my doctor and I... don't remember most of that time. Most of any of our time, to be honest. You are always somehow there at my lowest points. Well. Not all of them." He looked away as she did, but not for the same reasons. He was thinking about how she was right, at least about them not knowing one another all that well. That didn't really matter to him, he knew her well enough to call her a friend regardless of if she felt the same. “Maybe it’s more I don’t know you at all.” That made more sense, he thought. Well, that was easy enough to remedy...

His ears flicked as she continued after a pause of silence he had decided not to fill at the moment. “Could be far worse. So yes, I’m okay.” It was a relief to hear, and a surprise to hear her echo his question back. "I... I suppose I'm fine, for the most part." he said.

Khepri stood up and turned towards her, a gentle smile on his face as he began to walk closer. "You say we aren't friends because we don't know each other? Well, let's fix that..." he began. "I am Khepri Tiamat. I was banished by my late mother who I think hated me for being such a disappointment o the family. I moved away from the Mainlands and met a woman who I fell in love with and had a child with. Then she died and I sent our daughter back to the mother who could never love me in hopes that she might love her. I thought she'd be more successful there, than with me." (And because I couldn't look her in the eyes without seeing Rose). I had tried my hand in medicine as that was my wife's profession but failed, as you know, and so I became a professor in the college in hopes of passing on what i knew to wolves who were better suited for the field than myself. I live alone now and pretty much just bury myself in my work (and valerian...)

There... now you know some things about me. Is there anything else you think a friend should know?"

---

ACTION • SPEECH

SIF ASGAUT

She gave no acknowledgement when it came to his confession that it didn’t provide him with any comfort, at least that is how she took the comment. Where she might like the idea of others believing in something to ease their minds, she was not someone that supported proselytization without the other asking for it. No utterance would unseal her lips in this moment to spread some gospel, even more so to someone outside of her culture. It was sacred to her, one of the few things she had left of her loved ones and she wasn’t eager to share it with others just to be social. Besides, most that were godless didn’t take to religious rhetoric unless they were nearly pushing up daisies and even then they could be fickle. Logic and blind faith did not go hand in hand; if she wasn’t raised on it herself, logic probably wouldn’t allow her to believe in anything either. It was all a matter of perspective and what the heart needs to be okay.

The lack of interruption felt strange with how pleading he had been a second ago, expecting him to interject or say something unsettling that would make her want to put up her guard far more than it was up naturally. He was patient, hanging on her every word. In some ways that was more unsettling, knowing most to brew when they were so quiet if they weren’t shy. He hardly had a shy bone in his body from her experience, quite the opposite.

An ear flicked as he claimed to be fine, though she couldn't say she believed the words, shaky and uncertain as they came out. He didn’t give her any time to decide if she’d rebuke it at all as he suddenly got up, cutting some distance, causing her lid to widen a little more, scanning his face as the warm hues blended into his fur and eyes. He looked almost the same as the sky that was dimming slowly as night was creeping in closer and closer but it still had a bit before darkness would overtake it. Her brows would scrunch along her crown as he decided their next activity, though she did nothing to stop him. Not because she was curious but because for once he seemed confident in his choice even if that wasn’t fully what she meant by not knowing him.

Tiamat?

This would cause her mild confusion, barely able to hold any focus after that word, that surname he placed upon his own shoulders. That couldn't be right. Where was the burning passion she knew the family to have? If it wasn’t for the disappointed mother comment, she would think he had been married into the family as it felt like the only reasonable explanation for someone like him to carry that name. Late mother at that. Ankh only recently passed but banishment sounded up the woman’s alley based only on the bits of information she knew of the passing Matriarch, having no relationship with the brash woman herself. Then one thing dawned on her. “You’re Nassar’s brother?” she searched his face, finding that even harder to believe, thinking it nearly a joke but this story hardly felt like one.

Beyond those words, she couldn’t seem to formulate anything else, dumbfounded as she could only stare at him in bewilderment at the revelation. If she wasn’t so stuck on one thing, maybe she would argue about him being a bad doctor at least but alas, her gears were jammed with too many thoughts to be focusing on the self-deprecation.


Am I Beautiful As I Tear You To Pieces

table by rae - image by Lunicea

Khepri Tiamat
I can wait for you at the bottom
I can stay away if you want me to
I can wait for years if I gotta
Heaven knows I ain't getting over you

---

As he came closer, she did move away as he almost expected her to at this point. He was used to her running away by now but it seemed they were in a place that brought her comfort enough to stay. They were only talking after all. There was no war, no drugs, no ghosts. It was just them and a calm environment for once. At least after this she could not say it was only the worst moments he'd witnessed. To him, those moments had pulled them closer together but he supposed not everyone was like him in that regard. His ear flicked as a certain look of confusion seemed to wash over her once he revealed 'who he was' to her. He had to wonder, had he said something wrong again?

Khepri stiffened slightly as he had stopped only a few feet from her. He hoped he hadn't, but he could never be too sure. He didn't seat himself again and instead only stood there, waiting for her to say something. He was about to say something like 'earth to Sif' or 'cat got your tongue' when she finally spoke. "You're Nassar's brother?"

"Yes?" he replied tentatively. What did Nassar have to do with them? With any of this? He wasn't surprised Sif knew Nassar, as they were both part of the Army, but he wondered did she consider her a friend. A selfish part of him found a small spark of jealousy and he blinked, not sure where it had come from. He cleared his throat and finally sat back down. "Yes, she's my sister. She's the only one I keep in contact with, though I saw her and the entire family at the funeral last. She invited me back home, I just haven't decided whether to go or not." he said.

He didn't mention that he could still hear his mother in the walls of their old home and he didn't want to be anywhere near such bad memories.

---

ACTION • SPEECH

Infection

A young man brushes roughly past you, coughing aggressively. Some of the spittle bathes your face when he turns to ask you for directions to the nearest doctor.


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