sing me your song

I

t was another dreary, rainy day. Evelyn was reading a book before the start of her day, flipping through the pages of her sophisticated romance novel just littered with eloquently written smut. The words on the pages made her heart flutter and her cheeks warm to the thoughts of such passion. Always drawn to her work and gaining knowledge, she barely ever allowed herself to have fun and step outside of the box. Her loyal little companion nestled herself on the window sill, looking out the window. Evelyn moved towards the door and unlocked it as she turned the sign over. Her patients knew the time slots they had, but if there was anyone wandering - she never turned them away. There was one that she was going to be seeing today. Someone she had never seen before. She had looked into the family before, helped some of them in the past, but this one was new. She never really wanted to get too much "drama" or "rumors" about any particular person.

She started the kettle and lit the candles to give the nice ambience in the room. Everything had a comfort factor it it. Fluffy pillows, nice chairs, a comfortable couch - what more could you want? Evelyn made sure everything was alright and moved to pet the kitty in the window. He rolled his back to her affectionate touch. When it was finally time for her client to arrive, she stuffed her personal effects away and took a seat in her chair. It did not take very long for the male feline to meow at the sight of a wolf, only jumping down from the window once the guest came to the door. He hid behind some of the furniture, not ready to meet a new face.

@Badari

code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

It had only been a few weeks since she'd been rescued by Obsidian and Sylvain. Beatrix had disappeared shortly after their rescue and Badari had not seen her since. She had been the only thing keeping Badari sane in there and now she was gone. She assumed Beatrix had gone back to her life as a soldier or skipped Rionnach entirely after their shared traumatic experience. She could no longer deny that she had wished she had stayed so she didn't have to do this alone.
Alone...
That's how she felt in this. Alone. There was nobody else who understood her specific trauma, at least nobody she knew. And what was worse, while she was gone, her family had been suffering too. They lost Nassar, then Ahkoris... and while she had not been particularly close to either, she felt their absence greatly. Then there was the fact that her betrothed was dead as well. The war had taken a lot from her and then her time imprisoned had taken the rest, it seemed. She didn't feel like the woman she was before and she didn't know if she ever would feel like that again. She wanted to turn back the clock to a time before where her mother still lived and her sister was by her side but that was so long ago, yet the dull ache of loneliness never left.
She stood outside the closed door, uncertain that this would even help, but eventually she bound up enough courage to open the door and step inside. She let her gaze roam the room, her attention catching on a small cat that had meowed and run behind some of the furniture that lined the room. It was softly lit in here and warm, comforting. Her gaze was pulled from the small creature to the woman that sat in her chair across the room. Badari took her in, noting her soft and delicate features before moving to take a seat in silence.
She didn't know what to do or say, everything felt awkward and useless. She felt trapped, still in that vile cage he'd designed just for her.
Badari sucked in a breath before exhaling, then lifted her somber gaze to Evelyn's.

table by scarlet

A

s the female entered into the room, Evelyn stood to greet her. She did not move quickly, or rush the other female, her eyes looking over her frame to see if there were any indications of physical things that could be bringing her here today. She was very thin, almost frail looking, but Evelyn would not comment about that. Her orange eyes were beautiful, along with the embered colors of her coat that seemed to blend together perfectly. If she were to compare her coat to the other's, it would be vastly different. Evelyn still noted that she was beautiful, but work was more important than pleasure in this moment. She gestured for the soldier to have a seat. "Good afternoon, Badari. My name is Evelyn Honeywind. If you prefer, you may call me Dr. Honeywind or just Evelyn. Whatever makes you more comfortable." She waited to see if the female would seat herself, or relax on the couch. If she did take a seat, Evelyn would sit in her chair. The tabby cat stayed behind the furniture, but his bright green eyes locked on the guest in their place of work. Though he was not actually getting paid, he was very much a help to the patients as well, once he settled in to be around someone - though that often took many sessions for him to get comfortable with another.

Evelyn did not want to control the conversation, but gave the female a chance to speak for herself if she wanted to. Of course, some patients found it more easy to open up, and some others found it to be incredibly hard. It didn't matter if it took one session or ten to help Badari get the help she needed. As she was waiting for a response from the other, the tea pot whistled loudly. "Would you like something to drink? Maybe some chamomile tea or water? I also have coffee if needed." She spoke to the other in a soft and warm tone, a gift from her mother. In her years as being a therapist, and prior to, she had been complimented about the way her voice just sounded like a safe space, a warm embrace. "Would you care to share a little bit about yourself?"

@Badari

code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

Evelyn introduced herself as they seated themselves and Badari merely nodded her head in acknowledgement. She had never been a woman of many words and she didn't doubt that part about her hadn't changed much. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to say to a therapist that would make any of these feelings go away but she was willing to try doing something rather than stewing in her loneliness. That, at least she knew, was not working.
The other woman's soft voice tethered her from her thoughts, asking her if she wanted anything to drink. "No, thanks." she murmured.
Then she was asked to talk about herself and Badari almost cringed. What was she supposed to say? She didn't know this woman but that was the point, wasn't it? To have someone without bias to talk to about your problems? She wasn't sure, but she knew she wasn't ready to divulge everything immediately. She hadn't told anyone about what had happened yet, not even her rescuers. She was embarrassed that it had happened at all.
"I don't know what to say. Where to start," she admitted as her gaze lifted up to meet Evelyn's own. A sigh escaped her and she thought for a moment that this was senseless. Maybe she should just leave and return home. Everything would be better given time... wouldn't it? She swallowed, her gaze shifting toward the door.
No... she hadn't given this a real chance yet.
Badari looked back to the other woman and then drew a breath. "I am Badari Tiamat," she said, though she already knew that. "My family serves the Crown and with that service we've suffered great loss." Another thing Evelyn might already know. It wasn't like the deaths in her family had been kept secret. "I... I don't even know who I used to be, let alone who I am now. I really don't know how to talk about myself." she mused thoughtfully.

table by scarlet

H

er new client seemed to be receptive to her, and was taking things at her own pace, which she did not mind. Evelyn was more patient than many of the other wolves she had come across in her journeys. She would allow the female to feel comfort in this safe space, and let her know they were in fact safe here. "Try just your name, and go form there. We will go at your pace, of course." She smiled to her softly as she made a cup of tea for herself and sat back down. She loved the smell of the tea, and maybe if Badari watched her enjoying her beverage, she might also be able to relax some more and get one for herself. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Badari." Her smile grew larger than before. This was progress, even though it might not have seemed like it to Badari. At the very mention of her family serving the crown, Evelyn took note of that. "I assume you also serve the crown, yes? What is your role in the army?"

Sometimes it can be hard to talk about yourself when others do not give you the opportunity or chance to. "Did you want to serve with your family, or did you feel the pressure to do so?" Evelyn could ask questions to try and get Badari thinking and responding. "My family came from money, and had my father had it his way, I would have found a rich husband to settle down with." She gave a soft chuckle as she shook her head from side to side. "Even if our family members might not outwardly say things to give us pressure, if we are aware that so many of our blood have followed a certain path - it can be hard to think that you deserve a different life." She didn't want to put any words into her mouth, and was mostly speaking about herself - though her father had not been very quiet about his wishes for her.

@Badari

code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

Badari felt herself relaxing a little the longer she spent in Evelyn's presence. She had a calming aura about her that the Lieutenant was grateful for. Her ears flicked forward as she was asked about her service. "I do, I'm a Lieutenant." she revealed. It wasn't much, but it was something. She listened as Evelyn spoke further, asking her if she felt pressured to join because her family served as well and she shook her head. "No, I don't think I felt pressured, it was more of a calling than anything else. It was just what you were supposed to do, aside from finding a husband and having children. That part I never got to do... I was engaged before the war but he... he..." she stammered, finding it hard to talk all of a sudden. Her throat tightened up as she thought of Leoric but eventually she found her voice. "He was killed during the war." she said with a heavy breath.
"I want things to go back to the way they were, but that's impossible. I'm not the same as I was before and I am... alone." she said. Her mother was dead, her sister was gone... sure, she had other family within the manse but they were not close, save perhaps Xandria, her cousin. Even then, she had her own life. Her own husband and children to tend to. Badari wanted something like that, she thought to herself, but she didn't know how to go about obtaining it. She just went about her life and worked, it was all she could think to do. What else was there?

table by scarlet

P

atient eyes watched the female as she started to unravel the first layer that was guarding her heart, her mind, her whole being of existence. It was a small chip of many that would hopefully come to assist in the healing of this fine soldier. A Lieutenant - specifically. "Some might say that what you are supposed to do can be seen as an indirect want for you to join in their footsteps. Do you have family members who are not enlisted?" It was a valid thing to think about. Allowing the female to look more inwardly to herself, to find if maybe she really wanted that life or not. "I am sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is very hard. Please, take your time." She did not want to rush her or make her feel as though she had to get it all out now. This was a slow process, one that would move at Badari's pace. "I am proud of you for having an understanding that it is impossible for things to go back to a state of what they were before. This is not to involve the lives lost, but you as a wolf have changed because of the events that have happened to and around you. This is a valued step in the healing process. You should be proud of yourself. Little victories in our day to day lives are essential."

She gave the female a smile, then sipped from her tea. "It may feel like the walls around us are shrinking or have fallen, that a line of protection we once had is now gone. It will take time to rebuild those feelings of safety and comfort, but I am here today to tell you that it is possible." She was not going to tell the female that her feelings were wrong or misplaced, because at the heart of it, this was what she was feeling. Evelyn had been fortunate enough to not suffer the feeling of losing a loved one. She felt sorry for Badari, and wished there were words she could speak to wash the suffering away. Unfortunately, that would be entirely up to Badari, learning how to live this new life of hers. "Do you have any hobbies? Any friends?" Surely she couldn't be all alone.

@Badari

code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck