Right where you belong

Kenzo told no one where he was going. It wasn’t nearly as easy to slip away from the barracks for several days as a Colonel like it had been before. But the plus side was few wolves questioned him about where he was going simply because of his shiny new rank. Leaving the barracks behind had been easier than leaving Adeline behind. For a brief moment, he thought she might actually implode. He couldn’t fault her for it, she had only just gotten him back and under the worst of circumstances. And if he were honest, he had qualms about going too. Now he was leaving again, even if it was just a few short days. Kenzo let her believe it was work related because that was easier than explaining the actual truth of where he was going. This excursion was anything but work related. After all but prying his wife off him, he slipped from their home in Yorkshire and headed north.

The path he walked was a familiar one, but he was a different wolf this time. The last time he made this trek, he had been riding the high of war, his body alight with the excitement of the impending battle. Kenzo knew the risks and that hadn’t dampened his mood. But now, he had a different perspective. Scars that decorated his hide were healed and most were buried beneath the thickness of his coat, a small mercy. The most noticeable one still lingered across his visage, the thin line had healed remarkably well courtesy of the medical staff that Adeline hounded day and night. No amount of tending to could full erase the reminder though. Just as nothing had helped chase the dreams from his head so he might sleep well. The weariness he felt was well hidden behind a mask that was akin to impatience, not unlike his father. While the great Nalik had never faced imprisonment behind enemy lines, Kenzo had a new understanding of why Nalik was the way he was. The army was no one’s friend, not even those highly respected.

Adahm wasn’t the only one to blame. Jacob’s followers had kept the Verlice wolf a prisoner and they had been just as merciless as Imperial wolves were in the dungeon. Kenzo, for the first time in his life, found himself conflicted. He knew he didn’t support Jacob or his Highlander army, not after everything he had experienced. But all the blood, sweat and tears shed for Adahm… and he’d simply been left to rot. Pale lips twitched, tempting to curl with disdain. The only thing around to see were the trees.

Trekking through the snow, it was probably the worst time of year to travel such a distance. Winter was the hardest on all living creatures, especially the old and weak. Which is what drew Kenzo north, to the cliffs. He couldn’t exactly say why he felt compelled to return to Aberdeen with a new sheep skin in tow, he certainly didn’t owe his mother anything and definitely not her latest mate. But here he was. Last he saw her, he truly noticed the way her muzzle greyed and the affects of age on her body. Life had been harder on her than Nalik and it showed. His stay with her hadn’t been a long one, not with Argent consistently glaring at him like he secretly hoped the Verlice man would die during the night. If he considered it more, he might not blame Argent. Nalik had rained down hell upon Merrin and her new family, it wasn’t a huge leap to think the old Colonels children would follow suit. Ryker had, in her own way, but the grudge ran deep and that didn’t surprise him, not with how volatile his sister was. He could only guess where Asher stood. As for himself, Merrins reemergence in his life had dragged up feelings he thought long buried.

Standing a ways down the embankment, he faced where he knew her cave to be. The sheepskin rested atop a freshly hunted deer. When he left the last time, the sheepskin had been stained with his blood and looking worse for wear after she used it to drag him to the cave. It seemed appropriate to replace it, at the very least. Merri and Argent lived far from any town and entirely on their own, it was hard not to wonder how they faired in the harsh clutches of winter. Had her new children found them? Were his younger half siblings taking care of their parents? Shaking his head, he picked up the deer again, dragging it as little as possible to keep his presence here a secret. Crossing the border had been difficult enough, the last thing he needed was to get caught - a Colonel in an enemy country was not something he wished to experience.

Leaving the fresh kill and blanket outside the cave had taken some skill and care to not alert all of Aberdeen he was. Kenzo left the gift close enough that they would find it, but not so close they’d see him standing outside. If they were even awake. Dual toned eyes lifted to the night sky, it was remarkably clear, the sky speckled with stars and the crescent moon shining down on him. The hour was late, as it should be since he came straight here and the only delay was to hunt.

With a quiet sigh, he walked away. His paws ached from trudging through the snow and the distance he had traveled over previous days but it was time to go home. With any luck, he’d get to slid into bed beside Adeline in a few days time and sleep for a bit wrapped in her embrace. Things were simpler there. Walking away felt somehow unfinished, but wasn’t that the entirely of his relationship with Merrin, his mother? Knowing what he knew now, he couldn’t quite fault her for running from Nalik. The resentment for her abandonment though, that was a wound that never healed and had been ripped open again when he first saw her, first heard of her new family. Even after everything, there was no closure, there was nothing that made him feel better about any of it. The small thanks he left on her doorstep seemed like something though. War had ravaged every other part of his life - it had nearly ruined his career, it had him struggling to fit into shoes that no longer fit and yet it also managed to soothe some of the hurt between him and Merrin. She had taken him in without hesitation, despite everything, she had staved off death and nursed him back to health enough that he could get home.

A home that he now returned to, feeling a bit more at peace. He knew he could never go back to the way things where before, it simply wasn’t possible. Now, it felt easier to close that part of his life, to leave the past in the past, where it ultimately belonged. It still didn’t tell him what to do about his career, whether he should stay or retire early. It did, however, solidify that he’d do it with his hotheaded wife beside him.

Exit unless stopped




art + code: clae

Morning greeted her with what warmth the sunlight could offer from the mouth of their cave home. She could hardly wait for spring to melt all of the snow away, even if she did enjoy using the cold the perfect excuse to be to snuggled up in the thick of Luciel's arctic coat. Lifting herself with a grunt she stepped out of the bedding groggily.This winter had also not been very kind to her joints as they ached when she lowered her front half into a long stretch, her maw opening into a yawn.

Merrin rose and then shook the sleep from the rest of her body, longing to feel the sunlight kiss her face outside of their dimly lit home. She pressed a couple of kisses to the lighter highlights of age that now decorated the retired Captains ashen face. Another nuzzle into his cheek and then she parted from him, headed to the threshold. She noticed something just outside the opening almost instantly, her gait slowing when she saw that a form was laying there.

At first there was panic, thinking that another of her children had come to seek her out battle wounded and in danger of dying. Merrin scampered forward, ready to leap into action until she saw that it was not a wolf at all. She blinked in utter confusion, seeing that it was the carcass of a deer freshly killed. It was the sheep skin that lay over top of it that sparked memory for her and when she went to inspect it, she discovered the scent of her eldest son lingering there.

There was hardly a way to describe what emotions swept through her entire being in that split second of realization. She lifted her gaze, lavender orbs flickering around outside of her home to see if perhaps he was still there despite the scent telling her he had long departed. Looking back up on the sheepskin, her eyes filled with tears and she lifted it to her face, pressing the soft wool to her cheek as she breathed in what traces she could of her boy.

Closing her eyes, she was taken back to the moment she'd first laid eyes on her firstborn pup. He had been so strong and ready to take on the world, his infantile cries telling the tale of the future soldier he would be one day. Scenes of the brief childhood of his that she had witnessed from afar played through. A toddler proudly proclaiming victory over a tussle with his siblings, racing with them around a clearing, leading them to splash in rain puddles, and teaching them to be brave during a thunderstorm. Then the face of a worn and weathered soldier appeared...a man who had once been a boy that had likely been forced to grow up far too soon for the sake of his younger sister and brother.

These gifts that had been left for her held a message that she so deeply understood. Merrin held onto the sheep skin tightly before she released everything, letting the pelt soak up her tears as she wept. This was her son's gratitude and his farewell. It was final and it was necessary for them both...and she accepted it. Merrin then recalled the last time they'd seen each other, a soldier's wounds healed just enough for him to travel home. And in her minds eye she watched her grown son, her Kenzo, fading into the distance as he walked away from her for what she knew now was the very last time.

“I recall those rainy days, the fires glowed, that kept us warm.

And now I find, we're both alone.

Goodbye may seem forever, farewell is like the end.

But in my heart's a memory, and there you'll always be."

Until we meet again...


@Kenzo

table ; bunny - - art ; Raven