[ P ] Teardrops on my guitar

They didn't love her anymore.

Aesira's sobs were stifled into little gasps that shook her body. Her head was lowered, her cheeks wet with tears. She needed to be quiet—it wouldn't do for Andreas to hear her and wake up. It would be even worse for him to see her this way; he never seemed to care when she cried. Or, if he did, he reasons would make him dismissive. She was never good enough for him, not by half. She wasn't the sister that Rayna was nor could she ever be. And the same thing was happening with her parents.

They had less and less time for her now that Andreas was sick. Losing his vision, they'd said once when Rayna had been bold enough to ask. Aesira had opted to quietly wait it out, trying to win her parents over with stray bits of news and dreams and compliments. It hadn't worked. They had just gotten more and more stressed, seeking healers, trying to comfort him.

And now they were out and she... she was watching over him.

Her parents had assured her and Rayna both that they were still in their hearts, that Andreas just needed more attention, yet Aesira knew it to be false. Wolves gave attention to those that they loved—and she was hardly within their eyes anymore, they had only minutes for Andreas.

That left her on the outskirts of their hearts. And terribly alone.

Tears caused her lashes to stick together and she rubbed her muzzle with a paw. Why don't they love me? The thought was one she couldn't get over and it caused another sob to run through her. What did I do wrong?

manip + code: clae

He had become a shell of the puppy he was. Miserable, bitter, angry; lashing out at anyone and anything that came too close to him. The only one he tolerated was his mother, and that was solely because he couldn't bring himself to be mad at her despite it being her genetics that made him like this. He was nearly a year now, only a few months shy of their birthday and all he saw was black and white in high contrast imagery.

Gone were the pretty flowers, though he could still smell them. Gone was the beautiful scenery that was their homeland, with the mountains reaching up to touch the bright blue sky, the colours that danced in the night with the stars, the childish wonderment when he discovered some new little critter. And what was most fascinating to him - and this he had to force himself to focus on in an effort to have something to look forward to - was how quickly his other senses began to pick up the slack of losing one. His nose could differentiate acutely between herbs and spices, and it was easy to tell when something was beginning to rot. His paws, he swore, could feel the hum of the Earth beneath him, guiding him where his eyes could no longer. He could hear minute movements, even just the sound of fur sliding along the ground was enough for his ears to twitch.

Her pitiful cries were easy enough to hear, blind or not.

Andreas opened his eyes, though he bitterly knew it didn't matter much - the contrast in his vision now was almost as debilitating as complete blindness. His sight strained, and in the low light of the den he couldn't see much anyway. Pulling himself to a half sit, his ears wiggled as he determined where she was, turning his head in that direction.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, breaking the silence and hopefully quieting her sobbing. He was so sick of pity. Was she sad about him? How they couldn't play together anymore? Or was it some other, more selfish reason? Did she even consider how he felt? Andreas doubted she had that capability, knowing she always pined for their parents attention at any given moment.

He didn't want to stand up, not yet. Standing when you couldn't see your surroundings always made him feel more unsteady. Literally everything in his life had changed after his conversation with his mother, and their doting on him only made him feel worse.

manip + code: clae

Aesira snapped her mouth shut at the sound of Andreas' voice. She hadn't heared him stirring, hadn't realized that she'd disturbed him in the slightest. As always, her world of awareness was very small, just a music box with a sad little ballerina in the center. And that was where she lived, spinning in circles upon a tiny platform, seeking validation from her parents, fearing the day she got knocked off that pedestal of her own creation. It made her selfish and a poor sister even if she didn't want to be one.

Turning her head, Aesira lifted a paw to brush away tear streaks. Her eyelashes clumped together as she took in her brother. He looked the same as always. At times, it was hard for her to believe that he wasn't faking it. Of course, she'd kept that to herself for fear of retaliation—and she knew it wasn't really true. Still, sometimes it made it easier to think that one day Andreas would just say "haha, nevermind!" and bounce back outside with Ray without a care in the world.

She withered somewhat under his glare even though he couldn't really see her (allegedly). It felt like he could. At least before this, he'd smiled at her sometimes. Now, he only frowned. It was as if he hated the world and everyone in it.

But at least he asked about her... and she felt touched. Her lips formed a gentle "o" and she looked down shyly—again, as if he could see her. Internally, she knew she shouldn't tell him the truth. But... he'd asked, right? Maybe he really... wanted to know...? She'd felt so lonely lately...

Rising onto her paws, she toddled closer to him, again stepping as if he might judge every pawstep nearer.

"I... I don't know if mom and dad love me—" she paused, then stutteringly incorporated their sister's name in the speech so it didn't sound so selfish. "—and Ray anymore. They don't spend any time with us." Nervously, she ducked her head and alternated pressing one paw on top of the other.

manip + code: clae

The precarious stability of his sisters mental state was exhausting, though he would never tell her this. She constantly needed reassurance and validation, and thankfully he had mastered his mask of apathy as she spoke of their parents potentially not loving her anymore. She snuck in mention of Ray as an afterthought.

Perhaps if he was a better big brother, one who could see, he would have brought her into a hug and reassured her yet again. He would have said that no, of course their parents love her, for she was beautiful and kind when she wasn't whining. But Andreas could only focus on the fact that yet again, Aesira needed the spotlight on her brilliantly white pelt. She needed to steal what little guidance and attention he was receiving from their parents away from him, solely based upon a fear that simply didn't exist.

He loved his sisters, but he was so very tired with life already and he hadn't even made his first birthday. A bitter anger instead infected the young man, spreading through his bones until all that was left was a husk of who he could have been. And so he sighed, gently, and simply shook his head.

"I'm sure they love you more than their useless, sightless son," his response was soft; the tone pessimistic, depressed and under the surface, heartbroken. His ambitions and dreams were stolen from him, ripped from his young hands and tossed to the ground to be trampled on. You needed sight for so many things, and despite their mothers reassurance that he'd be able to do whatever he wanted to, he was still left crestfallen after their conversation. His mom was successful because of their father, it wasn't like he'd ever find someone to love him the way they loved each other.

Despite himself, tears sprang to his eyes. But he tried his best to blink them away before Aesira could see them.

"I've just needed some help, Aes. I promise I won't be a burden much longer, then you can have them all to yourself." an ominous statement, but he thought nothing of it as he lowered his head in defeat.

manip + code: clae