Zero Sum Lives

The war was over. For most wolves… there weren’t many things left to worry about, outside of the normal that is. No, instead, all that was left was to pick up the pieces, and see what was left, what could be saved. Some lost more than others, some put everything into this war… only for the only changes to be made was where lines in the earth were drawn. All of the suffering, dying… and had anything really changed or improved for anyone? Even as shopkeepers could go back to expecting their wares not to be confiscated for Imperial provisions, denizens of the street not to be rounded up for questioning and interrogation, or soldiers settle back into their roles of interfering with Guilders and other apparent agitators… would there ever be a normal again? Could anybody really put this war behind them? And for Savard especially… did he really have anything less to worry about? He hated to admit it, but the russet wolf, older than he had once been, though no less disillusioned with the above-surface world as he was with the below-surface one, was afraid. With the end of hostilities, many of the wolves he had been actively trying to avoid now had more free time than they knew what to do with, and it would be perhaps only a matter of time before they found him. It wasn’t that he feared for his life with them, no… because death was an alternative for what they wanted him for. Connections, insight, clout… power. Savard, to them, was a tool, something to get something better… and it was a terrible thing to be, to the types of wolves who wanted it. It would not be so terrible for him, after all, they needed him. But what Savard feared, what he always had feared, was what wolves would do to ensure his compliance, to those he was close with. His friends, his allies, his… child, being cold and distant towards them was the only way he could keep them safe. But she would just have to forgive him, for what he had to do. Savard had met lots and lots of wolves… most just in passing, but rarely did they stick with him. He never got her name, but he met her in Sussex a while back, during the war. A nurse on her break, a wolf who seemed to have her paws full with everything. He had tried to talk with her, socialize somehow, but she was gone before anything went anywhere. He had wondered more often than he should have about her whereabouts, if she had made it through the war. There was something about her that drew his mind to her. It wasn’t love, at least it didn’t feel like it… but it was hope. Hope for what he could have been. He spent all his years bringing people their end… but she saved lives… and maybe a part of him couldn’t help but wonder, could her life had been his? Perhaps there was a certain genuine curiosity he had about her that he wanted to pursue further. Or… perhaps it was as good a place as any to hide from what was surely coming for him. Either way, he went back to the very same spot they had met, hoping, just hoping, that he would see her again.

everything he touched fell apart

code // art

The war had been over for awhile, both sides having claimed kingdoms and the lands that were established beneath their rules. Ashira was not a pawn in this recent time consuming chess match. Both kings were not her concern, nor were the politics and rules that came with each king’s governing ways. Her monochrome paws continued to work as she remained enlisted in the military, treating more wounds of varying kinds than others would care to attempt. She was not one to tire - she didn’t know what ‘tire’ meant - so the jobs she had each day brought more purpose to the road fate had her walking until she was meant to do and be somewhere else.

An example of such a change was her ‘vacation time’ coming into play. She was not familiar with the term and gave it to destiny without a second thought. The commanding officer over the nurses - including herself, since she was charge nurse - had done his quarterly reports and saw she had worked tirelessly almost every day since her successful enlistment. Without hesitation, he gave her time off for the week and said to report back for the new one to start. A firm nod and she was cut loose. Still, she walked with fate as it bobbed like a red balloon tethered to her paw as she was gently pulled along.

After a day or two of sleeping without pages or abrupt calls, Ashira’s body was in a state of tranquility. Destiny had prodded her along towards Sussex, settling her in a small cabin that was available for use as a vacation location. She had awoken that day to a warm breeze laced with winter kissing her cheeks, causing her to stir and begin a series of stretches. By the time she reached the shore, the waves had become her primary source of background noise. It was not long before she caught the scent of Savard on the wind and a soft caress from fate moved her towards where he was sitting.

Funny, almost as if a dream had come true, some wish against possible odds turned out exactly in the way that he had hoped, she took a silent stride near to him. On the one side, without even glancing her way, he was relieved to see her again, happy even, that she had made it through the war. That didn’t mean she had had it easy, that her road had been nice and orderly. On the other… Savard couldn’t help but wonder why their previous conversation had been so short. Maybe they both were hoping to wait and see the war through before they found willing to say they enjoyed one another’s companies enough to not hate each other. After all, why commit to friends if there was a chance you wouldn’t see them again? He was not one to ever outright say it or to show it in anything he did or said… but seeing her again made Savard gladder than he could have ever hoped to be. Turning his head slowly to lock eyes with her, Savard nodded his head nonchalantly, before looking back out to the sea. He silently exhaled to himself, relieved to see her again. Of course, such a doting, caring nature was never something Savard would show to another soul. After all, some might just confuse it with a weird sense of affection. Affection, a word to Savard that was as foreign as anything. All his life, and in all his years, caring or another wolf was dangerous, stupid, deadly. Liking someone for more than their business worth was a weakness to be exploited. If he lived a life that was safe, a life where he had made no enemies, maybe he stood a chance to have been more friendly than he was. But that door shut a long time ago, and even today, there were so many at play. Saying he enjoyed a wolf beyond that of amicable exchanges was a luxury he had thrown away a long time ago. And yet… there was something about this wolf that had brought him here, hadn’t it? She had been on his mind, some sense of hope that gummed at him incessantly. It was almost as if he didn’t feel so alone when he thought of the wolf she was. It was pathetic, wasn’t it, thinking about a wolf he met once and only once, briefly, uneventfully, and yet he hoped for her the world and everything good in it. She deserved that much, hadn’t she? Someone had to, in his estimation, so why not her? “You look a lot better not covered in blood,” Savard quipped sarcastically, unemotionally, his gaze not turning even an inch towards her. But even still, a part of him fought himself to do so.

everything he touched fell apart

code // art

Ashira

The way that Savard acted was not unusual for the monochrome female. She had met wolves of various personalities and their approaches towards strangers and acquaintances alike could either falter or remain the same. The possibilities of why he spoke sarcastically and refrained from studiously watching her were probably endless…or only one of a few reasons. She would not dwell on the list of possibilities; fate caressed her with another gentle breeze and focused her attention on other thoughts.

‘You look a lot better not covered in blood,’ he stated, his eyes focused on an unknown point on the sea. She would have smirked and returned a witty retort, if she had not been who she was. A very faint ghost of a smile appeared instead, most likely unseen by the russet-furred male as she reclined to her haunches beside him. The distance between them was roughly four massive paw prints, enough room for a respectful distance should one of them prefer to keep their personal bubble intact. Her eyes looked at various sections of the ocean, watching the waves as they moved along the surface. “Your observation is not wrong,” she replied, allowing silence to fall between them once more.

  

  

template by bean

She was about as warm in her heart as the water was, a chilly and resounding distance from the superfluous and flattering. Blunt, calculated, simple… and that seemed to make her one of one. Savard didn’t need to be interested in her, nor her in him, not that they had gotten to or would ever get to such a point. They were just two wolves keeping to themselves on the shore. Her response to his comment, so plain and so obvious, it almost brought a smile to him, though he was far too reserved for it. He wasn’t one for small talk either… and it made him glad he wasn’t insane for being the only wolf who felt that way. He might not have known a whole lot about this nurse, outside of their previous meeting… but he liked what he knew so far. There was silence upon silence between them, a respectful agreement to let the scenery speak for itself. Nothing else was needed or required. But Savard couldn’t help himself, still unable to shake his curiosity about this wolf, and if she would remain a stranger forever, or if he could get to know her just a little bit better. “How long you been doing it for?” He decided to ask, an open-ended question by all means. He hoped she’d tell him more than he expected her to. It was always a delicate game anyhow. Speak too little, and it infers a lack of interest. Speak too much, and it gets annoying. She found him interesting enough to sit next to him… but could he keep her interest enough to get to know her story?

everything he touched fell apart

code // art