[ P ] little darling

It was later in the afternoon by the time Danya had stolen her other two children away to the market, while young Aesira had opted to stay behind. That was fine by Aurelia, she tended not to like behind left alone for too long anyway. "How about we go down by the creek, darling?" she suggested, her gaze turning towards the lights that filtered in through the nearby doorway. She didn't wish to stray too far from home today so the creek behind the little cottage was the perfect place to go in her eyes. Maybe Aesira wouldn't find it as interesting, but hopefully she'd indulge her mother today. With a wave of her tail, she disappeared out the door and headed down the grassy knoll that led to the creek that boardered the forests surrounding their home. The brothel was in the near distance, through the thicket of trees, and she could hear the rabble rousing that often came from that direction. It would seem someone was in high spirits down in the tavern today.

She paid it no mind as she walked to the edge of the creek, the sounds drowning away with the sound of her paw steps and the bubbling water. This time of year it would be too cold to swim in but it was a peaceful place to enjoy with her daughter. "Tell me, why didn't you want to go to the market today?" she asked Aesira curiously, trying to simply start conversation with her young daughter.

Aesira had seated herself near their den's exit, expression soft despite its tilt of sorrow. Her black tipped ears—so much like her mother's—drooped against her head and her gaze lingered on the horizon. It was the last point where her father had been before he had disappeared, the lithe shapes of Ray and Andreas keeping pace behind him. He had not taken her. She could have gone, that she knew, but she had not wanted to ask. More than anything, she had wanted him to bundle her up with kisses and invite her. But that had not happened...

"How about we go down by the creek, darling?"

Turning her head, Aesira's gray-orange gaze brightened somewhat. The term darling warmed her, chasing away the frost of abandonment that had settled on her heart. From nose to tail tip, the glow traveled as she realized that it was just her with her mother. There was no one else: not Andreas to make Mother laugh, not Rayna to show off her strength and skill. Just the two of them. While the words were not spoken aloud by her mother, Aesira could just about hear them. Her tail began to wag behind her and she delicately made her way to her mother's side, pressing herself into Aurelia's soft fur. "Oh could we? I would love that ever so much!" Her voice was bright and loving.

Keeping close, Aesira joined her mother on the walk. At long last, she was old enough to know that her mother did not see—not well. But she could notice light and was able to move toward it without the need for help. Still, Aesira kept her gaze on the path in front of them. If an obstacle arose, she'd dutifully pull it out of the way or help steer her mother elsewhere. The thought of anything happening to her was a nightmare that made her blood go cold.

Thankfully, their home was safe.

Of course, sometimes the patrons of the brothel could get a bit rowdy. Aesira flicked an ear, cheeks warming slightly as she remembered one catching sight of her one day when she'd gone to peek in on it. He'd complimented her before one of the courtesans had chased him away and ushered Aesira back to her home. Of course she'd obediently sped away but not before feeling that dizzy, light sensation of being... wanted? Loved? Desired? She hadn't the words but she knew she had liked it. Why the courtesan had been so mad was beyond her.

But Aesira would not abandon this precious opportunity to be alone with her mother, not even for that.

At her mother's question, Aesira looked up sharply from the burbling creek and its lovely little ecosystem. Her lips parted and she blinked for a moment before, lightly, offering a quick and agreeable explaination: "I wanted to be with you," she said. "It's not often that it's just me and you or me and father... I don't want to miss out on these moments."

Subconsciously, she felt warmth blaze across her cheeks. Would her mother think she was... how had Andreas put it? Needy?

Internally, she felt her insides pinch and squeeze. She often got the distinct feeling that her brother hated her and she avoided him as a result. Looking at him looking at her made her skin crawl.

manip + code: clae

Aesira agreed to their little excursion and quickly found herself by Aurelia's side. Once the children had figured out she could not see well they had seemed to take extra care with her and while she was grateful, she hoped they did not feel it necessary. She was the one who was supposed to take care of them, not the other way around, and she did not want to be a burden on anyone.

Her daughters words brought a small smile to her face. She could barely see the outline of a figure in the soft sunlight that filtered through the trees above them.

"I don't want to miss them either," she replied. It was moments like these that she had lived all her life for-- the time spent with her family was worth more to her than anything else.

She leaned over slightly, her paw finding its way into the cold stream, and she quickly lifted it out and shook the water off. "A bit chill this time of year," she warned, in case her daughter got the inkling to go swimming.

With that she turned her head towards the sound of the creek and drew in a calming breath. "Have you given any thought towards the future? What you might want to do when you grow up?" she asked curiously. She had been wanting to have these sorts of conversations with all of her children to see what might interest them. Aesira liked to sneak off to the brothel from time to time, Aurelia knew, but she'd like to steer her children away from that kind of life. It could be rough, and she knew that from experience.

She and Danya could give them good lives, they didn't have to struggle like she had.

Where Andreas and Rayna might have been quick to leap into the water, Aesira clung to her mother's side as if the slightest wind might blow her off into the wilderness. Mirroring her mother, she extended a pale little paw. Once it touched the water, she shivered violently and pressed herself into her mother's plush fur. In that moment, she wished that she was smaller. Then no part of her would not be outside of those silvery furs. Instead, she had to content herself with only her side. Aesira was bigger now and almost of size with Aurelia.

"I'll be careful, mama," she promised softly, reading her mother's worry between the lines. It was a talent she had picked up, born of her intense focus on what her parents really meant beneath their words.

As her mother asked about what Aesira wanted to do, the little girl's face scrunched up thoughtfully. It was a good question but... she hadn't really thought about it. She hadn't thought of anything other than staying close to her parents. The thought of leaving and going off was truly terrifying.

"I thought I might work at the howling moon," she said lightly, hoping her mother would like the thought that Aesira would stay close to home. "I can live with you and papa, and take care of you like you take care of me!" Her voice brightened and her eyes shown, eagerly awaiting her mother's approval. After all, it was a beautiful dream, wasn't it? She'd never leave and could be so beautiful like the other ladies working there.

manip + code: clae

Aesira's promise hung in the air between them and she smiled, knowing her daughter was wise enough to pick up what she meant without her having to outright say it. She was good at that, probably the best at determining her and her father's moods due to the fact that she paid such precise attention to those around her.

However, her smile faded a touch as Aesira vocalized wanting to work at the Howling Moon; the sentiment of her wishing to stay close to home was nice but the reality was that she did not exactly want her daughter working in a tavern and brothel. Did Aesira yet grasp that was what went on in the Howling Moon or was she still blissfully ignorant to the fact? Aurelia contemplated spelling it out for her but she also felt strange in doing so. There would be so many questions about the life Aurelia had lived until recently, certainly, and she somehow thought it might make her daughter think less of her if she told her that part of her life. She swallowed and shook her head.

"Oh, darling... I don't think that would be good for you." she said. "As much as I'd love for you to stay near home, the Howling Moon is... is not the place for you. You know what it is, don't you?" she asked curiously.

Something shifted in the air. It was not the wind, not the sun, not the sound of the creek, and yet it all felt colder. Her eyes widened slightly as she became very still, for fear of breaking it further. Those dual-toned irises searched her mother's face earnestly, desperate to find what had changed. To figure out what she had done. Unbidden, tears began to well within her eyes. Inside, feelings whirled around with snippets of words: why don't you want me to be with you? What's so wrong with that? Do you want me to leave? Yet she didn't quite hear those thoughts, she just felt them and their devastation.

"Oh, darling... I don't think that would be good for you."

The tears began to fall, first quietly, then Aesira couldn't help but sniffle as she tried (and failed) to hold it together. Even at her mother's light tone, she couldn't help but feel as if she'd made a terrible mistake. Was she supposed to know something about the Howling Moon?

"N-no mama, I d-don't. I thought it was... a..." Aesira's voice broke and she shook her head. "I want to stay with you. Can't I stay with you? I don't have to work at the Howling Moon if you don't want me to." Because what the Howling Moon was didn't matter, she just didn't want to be abandoned.

manip + code: clae

Aurelia could feel the tension rise between them and her ears flicked forward, a little confusion smattering her face at the silence that dragged them down. The quiet was broken by the sounds of sniffling and Aurelia immediately stood, realizing that Aesira had begun to cry. Her stammered words clutched Aurelia's heart and she moved forward to sweep her sweet girl into a hug. "I didn't mean it that way, darling." she said. It wasn't that she didn't want Aesira to stay with her, she just didn't want her world colliding too much with that of the Howling Moon. She knew that was a far fetched dream, that eventually her children would come to know what it was and perhaps that day was now here for young Aesira...

A part of her worried that they would change the way they looked at her once they found out and perhaps that was why she'd kept it from them all this time.

"The Howling Moon is not only a tavern, but a brothel. That means men, and I suppose sometimes women, travel there looking for... entertainment and company. Adult company... it's... it's hard to explain." she said. Was she too young to have 'the talk' or any talk like this? Aurelia stressed, uncertain as she smoothed her tongue over Aesira's ears. "But of course you can stay with me. You can stay with me forever, my sweet girl." she said. She didn't want to push her out into the world too fast. She was confident that her daughter would find her place on her own and in the meantime, they could spend all the time in the world together.

"I only want you to be happy," she murmured gently as she held the girl in hopes of calming her.

Aurelia had never had to deal with these types of things before having children. Danya had always been the one to do the comforting and before that she'd had no one. She was not used to this, but she felt it came naturally, or at least she hoped it did. She could only hope that her words might calm her daughter down.