And was it not his fault that she had thrown herself into this conflict? He could see her own guilt swimming within those amber eyes and yet it did nothing to overpower his own. He was no fool. When she'd first appeared within his home, he had seen a woman that longed—not for safety but for power. Not the kind of power in which she ruled but the kind of power in which she controlled her fate. She bettered the world in her vision, taking only enough so as to never question the fact that she was her own master. It had been an easy, calculated decision to offer her a job within his home, to give her wealth beyond her initial expectations.
In doing so, he knew that he had made himself an object of her affections. Not ardently; there was still hope for her to find someone else, especially now that she had the right to walk close to his circle. But not vapidly; she was far too loyal to give even more than a piece of her heart away superfluously. And he had done nothing to push her away. Even knowing that she would wield a sword and charge into conflict, even suspecting how radicalizable she was, he had done nothing to save her from herself. To stop her.
Now he was staring at a hip that could never recover. The whole of her health had been stolen away.
This was not the kind of price he had expected to pay. She even winced as she tried to come closer. His tooth pressed sharply into the skin of his cheek.
"...It was my fault, putting my nose where it didn't belong. Your life is not my business, and you working hard for this life wasn't for me to make my own..."
His ears folded back against his skull and he wordlessly shook his head. He stopped only when she pressed her brow to his, her touch surprisingly strong and encapsulating despite her injuries. Ruel gazed down at the ground, gaze softening as sorrow overruled his self-hatred.
It was not right for him to take away her agency either, to imagine that he could have orchestrated her life away from this fate. Yet it did not sit well to blame her for this either. Perhaps, then, it was easier to feel hatred for the crown and all that it stood for. This was a sorrow caused by the conqueror.
"Curiosity killed the cat?"
Her wry humor did earn a soft chuckle from him, especially when Halibut mewled. He hadn't even realized that she'd snuck in.
Leaning back slightly, he looked over his shoulder at the feline. Then, slowly, he gazed back at Onyxia.
It had to be done before he overstepped with more.